dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
