I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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