I can tuck mytits in my pants
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
