They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
