I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
