Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
