a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
