i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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