He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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