I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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