I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
