watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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