im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
