I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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