he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
