So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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