Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
