He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
