A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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