I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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