Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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