its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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