brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
