ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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