just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
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Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
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After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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