my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
