Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
