i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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