We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
