Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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