She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
