OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
