what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
