well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
farters have to be the big spoon...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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