Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
