How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
