Your tits are I can't wait for
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i dont even know how to be here
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
