i think my mom watched the whole time
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
