You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
