i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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