Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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