called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
