Christians are straight up FREAKS
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
