You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
