hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize