I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize