Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
