Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
