if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
