You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
