he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
