I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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