I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize