Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
