if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
