And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
