he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
