Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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