it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
