C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
