tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Randomize
