I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
