Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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