I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
