we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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